Boy, what a day I had. Talk about an emotional basketcase! In the life of the infertile, there is one thing that just shatters your soul: hearing the news of someone else being blessed with the pregnancy that you want more than anything on earth.

Today was one of those days...
A girl at work got pregnant on her first try. Some luck, huh!? Wish I had some.

So I cried much of the day. Not because I'm mad or upset....but more because I'm hurt that we've tried and tried and are no further than we were when we started. I'm hurt that I can't give my husband the baby that he so badly wants. Through the tests that we've had done on him we know that the infertility lies in me, not him. I've been where he's at and I know how bad it sucks.

When I felt all cried out, I called my doctor for advice. She told me that I may have tested too early and not to give up hope yet. I already knew this, but it felt more real to hear it from a doctor. Then she said that since I'm ovulating on 150mg of clomid that she'll extend us two more cycles. But the best thing that she said was that they can do IUI there in the office! That is just so huge! Infertility isn't covered on either of our insurances, so all procedures are out of pocket. Right now we're still at the OBGYN which is fairly cheap (in the grand scheme of things). When they've done all they can for us and we have to be referred to a reproductive specialist, it gets quite pricey.
So doing the IUI with her at her practice is going to run us an additional $600 per cycle vs. 10K+ for IVF with the specialist. Big time smiles on that one.

She said that we can do our 150mg of clomid with the IUI to increase chances. I'm all for it. Coming up with $600 in a few weeks is what's hard. But we'll see what we can do.

Oh, and for those unfamiliar, IUI is intra-uterine insemination. Basically, they use a turkey baster to put his sperm at my egg to eliminate the long journey. Hey, it's worth a try.

And if nothing else, it gave me a reason to push on and keep fighting for team baby!

Richie was so terrific today. He spent a large portion of his day calling and texting me to be sure that I was okay and making it through the whole mess. We discussed the foster program again and he is still on board with that as a back-up. So I guess that I can start getting geared up for those classes here before long.

Please say a prayer for us that Thursday brings us a positive test!